How to Write a Thank You Note

Guide Note

Writing thank you notes may seem like a chore, but the friends and relatives who receive them will think highly of your manners and consider doing more favors for you in the future. How to Write a Thank You Note covers emails, letters, or notes of appreciation to a friend, relative, or personal acquaintance. For business thank yous, visit our guide to writing formal thank you letters.

Introduction
Step 1: Appreciate a Kindness
Step 2: Create an Appealing Presentation
Step 3: Compose Your Note
Conclusion

Thank You Note Tips

Send a thank you note to acknowledge gifts, hospitality, or favors.
Write your note on small stationery or a postcard.
Be specific and gracious in your message.
Mail thank you notes within 2-3 weeks.

by Megan Honig

Introduction

Have you ever gone out of your way for someone and felt unappreciated? Bet they didn't write you a thank you note. Writing a thank you note shows that you recognize the thoughtful gifts and deeds of others. Besides, it's good manners!

Step 1: Appreciate a Kindness

Be courteous when you've received a gift. (Creative Commons photo by Howard Dickins)
Send a thank you note when you recognize that someone has gone out of their way for you, particularly if you have not yet had occasion to say thank you in person.

Gifts. Send a thank you note for any gift you received by mail or otherwise in the absence of the giver.¹ If you thanked the giver in person when you received and opened the gift, the thank you note is optional.
Hospitality. Send a note if someone let you stay at or visit their home, or hosted an event in your honor.¹
Favors. For significant personal or professional favors, send a thank you note to acknowledge the favor-doer's efforts.

Step 2: Create an Appealing Presentation

A thank you note need not be a work of art, but it shouldn't be an eyesore. Put away the looseleaf and try a more attractive medium.

Greeting cards. Pre-inscribed thank-you cards are a popular choice for thank you notes, but some writers find store-bought greeting cards dull² or aesthetically unsuited to your message.³
Postcards. ³ A less common choice, postcards are acceptable for short notes. Choose an attractive design to complement your message.
Handmade cards. Show your gratitude by drawing, painting, or collaging a card. This method is perfect for artists and for children, who may not readily express themselves in writing.⁴
Stationery. Small pages are best, as your small message will look awkward on a big sheet of paper.³

Step 3: Compose Your Note

Thank you notes should not sound formulaic, but most follow the same basic structure.

Address the Recipient

If the thank you is for a gift, address the note to the person or persons whose names were on the gift card.¹
Call the recipient the same name you would use in person.¹ Grandma is still Grandma, and a first-name basis acquaintance may be addressed by first name.

Give Specific Thanks

If money was involved, be discreet in your note. (Creative Commons photo by Tracy Olson)
Say thank you. Thank you for the helpful gardening book.
Identify gift or gesture. A generic "thank you for the gift" will make your recipient wonder whether you remember the gift at all, but a specific one reminds the recipient of their own kindness.⁵
Describe intangible items in appealing terms.³ You can often sum up actions in a single word, such as kindness, hospitality,³ or support.
Refer to monetary gifts discreetly. Ettiquette forbids discussing money frankly. Mention to the giver's generosity² instead.

Show Value of Gift or Kindness

Be gracious. Even if you do not like a gift, you can find something complimentary to say about it.³ A gift that is not to your taste may still be striking or, at the very least, thoughtful.
Indicate use.³ If it's a gift, discuss how you'll use it. If it's a favor, discuss how it will benefit you or has done so already. This book will come in handy when I'm planting next year's tomatoes or I could never have moved all those boxes without your help.
Discuss money indirectly.² Let the recipient know to what purpose you will use a monetary gift, but a detailed account of your spending is both tacky and boring.

Acknowledge Your Relationship with the Recipient

Mention prior contact.³ It was great to see you at Kate's birthday party.
Briefly comment on your personal life. A quick, positive line about your health or circumstances is appropriate, but save lengthy updates for another time.³ This note is about the recipient, not about you!
Suggest future involvement.³ I look forward to speaking with you soon or I hope you can make it to Thanksgiving this year.
Wish recipient well.³ Even if you do not plan to keep in touch regularly, let the recipient know you care. I think of you fondly and wish you the best.

Sign Your Note

Write a closing line. Sincerely or Your loving granddaughter or even Thanks again.
Sign your name. Even if the note is typed, add your signature by hand.

Conclusion

Send your thank you notes in a timely fashion. Experts recommend sending notes within 2-3 weeks² of receiving the gift or favor. Get in the habit of thanking those who are kind to you, and it just might work in your favor. People who send thank you notes get better presents!³ Wouldn't you be more generous to someone you made it clear how much your gifts meant?