How to Plan a Bachelorette Party

• by Nadia

Introduction: How to Plan a Bachelorette Party

• The bachelorette party is traditionally thought of as a bride's last night of freedom before she embraces the shackles (or um, joyous commitment) of marriage. This celebration is also known as a hen party, or stagette.

• The bachelorette party has evolved over time from the more demure bridal shower into a spicier counterpart of the guys' wild night. Ready to get the girls together and celebrate your favorite bride-to-be? While the planning is usually done by the maid of honor, don't expect to be able to handle everything yourself; call on other members of the bridal party or family members to give you a hand. But if you're still feeling a bit overwhelmed while planning the big event before the Big Event, then this page will help you get started.

Step 1: Pick a Date

• First you'll need to choose when the party will happen.

1. When selecting a date for the party, look ahead. Be careful to allow least a couple months of planning time. If you're still scrambling for food or entertainment at the last minute, your bash might still be memorable, but not in the good way that you intended.
2. No matter what you see in the movies, the bride won't be thanking you if she has to stumble down the aisle exhausted or hungover. Pick a party date at least a week or two before the wedding.
3. If you're intending the celebration to be a surprise, then enlist the help of the bride's mother or groom in sneaking a peek at her datebook. This will ensure that the date you pick doesn't conflict with any of her prior commitments.

Step 2: Select the Guest List

• Decide who you want to invite. Unless you're holding a surprise party, it's a good idea to get some input from the bride on this one.

1. It's considered good etiquette to verify that everyone on the guest list is invited to the wedding. And definitely don't invite anyone that the bride can't stand to be around. It's her night, after all.
2. Don't forget to invite friends and family from all parts of the bride's life. In other words, don't simply invite the friends that you know—include her work friends, family friends, friends from her Tuesday night cooking class, etc. If you can't ask the bride for help, then ask other members of the wedding party for input.
3. Keep the number of guests to a manageable number – preferably less than 20.
4. Send out a save-the-date reminder.

Step 3: Set a Budget

Where to Start

• It's a big etiquette no-no to ask the bride-to-be to pay for anything at her own bachelorette party. Unless you've just won the lottery, you'll probably want to split the party costs between the guests. Add up an estimated budget based both on what you and your guests can afford, and on the cost of:

1. The venue.
2. Food and drinks.
3. Entertainment.
4. Decorations, games, and party favors.
5. Transportation.
6. Miscellany.

Additional Tips

• Always consider your budget when booking or buying anything for the party. There's no point in committing to an event that you can't pay for.

1. Where possible, get estimates and quotes from different venues or vendors. This will help you make sure you're getting the best possible deal.
2. Make sure the party guests know how much, and in what way, they will be expected to chip in. (It's considered polite to mention this with the original invitation.) You might choose to collect all the money beforehand, or simply spread out the bills. Either way, you'll want everyone to be aware of what is expected of them. This will help avoid running into excuses or empty pockets at the last minute.
3. Thinking of hiring a stripper? This can be a fairly large expense, so first check your budget and make sure that your group can afford it.

Step 4: Pick a Venue

• There are as many possible approaches to a bachelorette party as there are types of brides-to-be, so choose the venue carefully. And remember that it's her moment, not yours. If she won't enjoy public embarrassment, sex-themed gags, or wild drinking games, then go another route. (But if she will, then go for it!) You could also consider a spa weekend, an evening at the theatre or a sporting event, dinner and dancing, or anything else that you know the bride will enjoy. Here are some ideas to get you started:

1. For a time-tested approach, try a bar crawl and a visit to a strip club. There are lots of fun games that you can incorporate into the pub crawl bachelorette party.
2. A spa party should be a hit among all the girls. If you can afford it, this can be a whole weekend away.
3. Any weekend trip can be turned into a swinging bachelorette party, from a camping trip to a weekend of slot machines and shopping in Las Vegas.
4. Again, personality is the key factor her: a sporty bride might enjoy an outing to see her favorite team play; an artsy bride might like to see a play. Round this type of evening out with dinner and drinks.
5. You can always choose to have the party in someone's home. The next step expands on this.

• Plan ahead: be careful to make any necessary bookings far in advance, especially for large groups. Many places offer group discounts, so be sure to ask when you call.

Step 5: Pick a Party Theme

• If you've decided to have the party in someone's home, then you can now pick a theme that will tie the food, decorations, and games together to give them that extra personalized touch. You could customize any theme around your bride's favorite movies, rock band, sports team, vacation destination, etc. Just use your imagination! Here are some ideas:

1. Sex toy party: Call around to adult entertainment stores to find one that will cater. A stripper goes excellently with this type of party. Pole dancing lessons are another popular activity.
2. Trip to Latin America theme: Hire a chef to cook up some authentic cuisine in-home, or a dance instructor to give the whole gang salsa lessons. Pick up some Latin music and mix together a batch of margaritas to complete the effect.
3. Hire a fortune teller or tarot card reader to give the bride a glimpse of her fabulous future. Set the mood with drapes and candles.

• Visit an online or brick-and-mortar party supply store to pick out decorations for an at-home party.

1. You can select decorations that go with the theme you've chosen, or decorations designed specifically for bachelorette parties.
2. The same store should have party favors available.
3. Be careful to select something that's appropriate for all guests.

Step 6: Send Out Invitations

• Send the invitations at least a month in advance, more if the guests will need to arrange travel or hotel plans.

1. For an added fun touch, customize the invites to go with the theme of the party. This will also help clue the party-goers in as to what to expect.
2. Buy extra invitations to allow for mistakes or last-minute additions to the guest list.
3. Include the bride's name, the date and time, the party venue, the address, and a map if necessary. Also include:
   1. A contact name and phone number.
   2. RSVP instructions and deadline.
   3. Gift instructions, dress requirements, and any other special requests.
4. If reservations are needed for any activity, be sure that the guests are required to RSVP. This way, you can get an accurate head count.

Step 7: Plan the Menu

• Now that you know who will be attending the gathering, you also need to plan the food that will keep everyone sustained through all that fun.

1. When looking for recipes, gravitate towards light foods that can be shared or made in large batches. Simple and shareable by many people, fondues are a popular choice.
2. If you're having a theme party, you can hire a chef that specializes in that type of food. He can do the hard work while the girls drink cocktails and relax.
3. Drinks with naughty names or girly colors are a fun touch for your no-men-allowed evening.
4. Ask for help preparing the food. One or two of the bridesmaids, or other partygoers, can arrive earlier on the day of party to provide extra hands to spread the work.
5. Buy the food ingredients a day or two in advance. This will cut down on your to-do list the day of the party.

Step 8: Organize the Entertainment and Games

• Group activities are standard at most bachelorette parties. They can help get the fun going, especially if not all the attendees know each other.

1. Like the theme, the games should be tailored to your bride and her guests. If you have a modest bride, consider activities that can be adapted to family-friendly versions, such as a scavenger hunt. Bachelorette party stores can be counted on for ideas for naughtier games, both for at home and in the bars.
2. How well does the bride know the groom? Send someone out to find out fun facts about the groom, from his childhood, to his likes and dislikes, to his memories of the bride. Then quiz his betrothed during the party, to find out how much (or little) she really knows.
3. Before hiring a male dancer, consider both the bride and her guests. If younger or older family members will be attending, adult entertainment may not be appropriate. But if a sexy stripper is exactly what the bride desires for her last night of wild, single fun, then be sure to get an agreement in writing when you make the booking. Double-check that all the details on it are as requested.
4. Drinking games are another fun way to get the party going. For example, Drink or Dare, where the player must take a drink if she refuses the dare. Keep some non-alcoholic beverages on hand, so that non-drinkers can play too.
5. At a party taking place in a club or bar, racier games can be played, such as Suck for a Buck, where men at the venue can be invited suck the hard candies from her shirt for one dollar. Consider raising the price depending on the location of the candy! Also, the bride can be given a list of dares (from innocent to embarrassing) that she must complete by the end of the festivities.

Step 9: When It's Party Time

Finally, time to party! While you're getting down with all the fun things that you've planned, be sure to look out for your guests as well.

1. During the activities and games, keep an eye on your crowd. If a particular activity isn't catching on, then move on to the next one.
2. If someone doesn't want to participate at all, then that's okay too. Try not to take it personally.
3. Make sure everyone gets home safely after consuming alcohol. Call taxis or hire a car service, or consider splurging on hotel rooms.
4. Have fun!

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Resources for How to Throw a Bachelorette Party

• About.com: Ideas for Throwing a Bachelor or Bachelorette Party  
• iVillage: Bachelorette Party Games
• The Knot: Bachelorette Parties: The Basics
• NZGirl Online: How to Throw a Hen's Night
• eHow.com: How to Select Bachelorette Party Invitations
• The Food Network: Bachelor and Bachelorette Parties  
• Canadian Living: Fondue Party
• Associated Content: Bachelorette Party Cocktails and Mixed Drinks  
• Diva Girl: Clean Bachelorette Scavenger Hunt
• eHow.com: How to Hire a Stripper for a Hen Party
• eHow.com: How to Plan Drinking Games for a Bachelorette Party
• eHow.com How to Select Bachelorette Party Supplies
• About.com Fun Activities, Themes, and Other Bachelorette Party Ideas  

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