How to Choose a Wedding Song

Guide Note

How to Choose a Wedding Song helps you to decide what type of music reflects your relationship and provides tips and resources for finding your wedding song.

Table of Contents

Introduction

  • Your first dance as a married couple is one of the highlights of your wedding day. It's a wonderful opportunity to demonstrate the intimacy of your union and to share the personality of your relationship with loved ones. So, put some thought into what music will deepen everyone's enjoyment of your wedding day and follow these steps to choose your wedding song.

Step 1: Assess Your Style

Whether you're die-hard romantics or knee-slapping jokesters, pick a wedding song that suits your style. (Creative Commons photo by Corey Doyle)
Whether you're die-hard romantics or knee-slapping jokesters, pick a wedding song that suits your style. (Creative Commons photo by Corey Doyle)
  • What kind of couple are you, and what style of wedding do you want? When it comes time to choose the first song you will dance to as husband and wife, you will have already put a great deal of thought into personalizing your wedding. Your wedding song will be another chapter in the real-life love story that you share with guests on your wedding day.
  1. Do you and your fiancé have favorite artists in common? Look through the songlists of your favorite artists to find love songs that you like.
  2. What's your couple personality? The wedding planning website The Knot breaks wedding couples' personalities down into seven different types, which can help you to choose an appropriate music genre that agrees with your image and level of sentimentality. For example:
    • Are you a "traditionalist" whose first dance will be an expression of good breeding and classic taste?
    • Are you a "rebel" whose first dance is an opportunity to demonstrate spunk and set an upbeat tone for the dance floor?
  3. Does a certain genre of music, such as jazz or country represent your roots or accord with the setting and theme of your wedding? Knowing what genre you're into can help you to narrow down artists and songs to consider for your first-dance song.
  4. How do others see you? Obviously this shouldn't be your primary concern, but ideally your wedding song will be a tune that will both feel right for you and suit your guests' idea of your relationship too.

Step 2: Consider Song Criteria

  • Even if you want to parade your contempt for romantic traditions by dancing cheek to cheek at your wedding, the song that you choose should be a good fit for you as a couple. Here are some important things to consider when choosing your wedding song:
  1. The song should speak to your relationship and mean something to you both.
  2. Consider the classics. Cole Porter and Van Morrison might not be at the top of your every day play list, but pieces such as "In the Still of the Night" and "Moondance" are songs with a charm that just might suit your mood.
  3. Choose a song that has special significance for you over popular wedding songs.
  4. Read the lyrics for all of the songs that you are considering to choose the words that represent your feelings about your relationship.
  5. Be sure to choose a song that has lasting power, that will mean as much to you in ten, twenty or thirty years as it does on your wedding day.
  6. Choose a song with a beat and tempo that you and your partner can easily dance to.
  7. If you're going to take a few dance lessons to choreograph your first dance, you

might let your preferred dancing style, be it swing or tango, determine the song. In fact, you might even want to ask your dance instructor to help you choose a song.

Step 3: Look at Wedding Song Lists

Look at music lists to get ideas for your wedding song. (Creative Commons photo by Tracey)
Look at music lists to get ideas for your wedding song. (Creative Commons photo by Tracey)
  • Some peoples' wedding song just pops off of their iPod. The rest of us have to do a little bit of work to find the perfect wedding song. With so many different wedding styles and musical genres, it takes some thought to narrow down a list of every love song that's ever been written until to get to the perfect 3-minute expression of your love. Here are lists of popular wedding songs that you should browse before making your decision.
  1. If you've cast your wedding in a particular style, choose a first-dance song that plays into the theme. The Knot has suggestions for different music genres, including:
    1. Rock 'n' Roll
    2. Country
    3. Romantic
    4. Classic
  2. Onewed.com lists fun wedding songs, such as "Wonderful Tonight" or "Everything I Do."
  3. About.com lists First Dance Songs.
  4. WeddingChannel.com lists Popular First-Dance Songs.
  5. Wanderlist suggests Indie Rock Love Songs.  WARNING: Heavy flash ads
  6. WedAlert.com provides an extensive list of first-dance songs.
  7. Wedding Songs offers a long list of first-dance song ideas.
  8. Here are some wedding songs to leave off of your list: Top 143 Worst Wedding Song Selections.

Mix It Up

  • Consider mixing it up. Adding modern twists to traditional wedding dances allows couples to demonstrate many different sides of their personalities and relationships to their wedding guests.

Add Audio Clips

  • You can share the history of your relationship and depth of your feelings for your partner with your wedding guests by recording anecdotes about your relationship before your wedding and having your DJ mix them into your wedding song.

Choose Two Songs

  • One popular wedding trend is to mix up the first dance by choosing two wedding songs. First, the couple dance to a traditional romantic wedding song. Then, an upbeat, non-traditional song plays and the couple breaks into a contemporary dancing style. Sometimes the second song is accompanied by a choreographed dance!
  1. Adding an upbeat number to the traditional first dance, which some sources say is fueled by the popularity of shows like Dancing with the Stars and the much-watched YouTube first dance wedding videos, is a popular way to demonstrate some personality on the dance floor.
  2. Choosing two songs allows you to surprise and entertain your wedding guests with a fun, unexpected performance. Some couples are paying choreographers around $1000 to come up with elaborate first dance routines and training for their wedding days.
  3. Some people are even getting the wedding party involved in the first dance, which can be a large time commitment.
  4. Other popular choreographed YouTube first dance surprise videos:
  5. Be warned. Before you choose to invest the time and money required to turn your first dance into a Broadway production, think about how mixing it up accords with your and your family's views on wedding traditions. Some say that this trend demonstrates the couple's poor judgment.

Conclusion

  • You probably have a hundred favorite love songs. Narrowing down your choices to the one song that best represents how you and your new life partner will feel on your wedding day is a tough, but fun task. It's an opportunity to contemplate and explore your relationship, after all. So, consider your wedding style, your respective personalities and your guests' experience as you search your record collection and song lists to find the perfect wedding song(s).

Resources for How to Choose a Wedding Song

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