40 Year Old Virgin Quotes
Also try: The 40 Year Old Virgin
- DISCLAIMER: This movie is rated R. Therefore, many of the quotes on this page are also R and should be considered NSFW.
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40 Year Old Virgin Quotes
- Source: IMDb - The 40 Year Old Virgin - Memorable quotes
- Source: IMDb - The 40 Year Old Virgin - Memorable quotes
- Andy Stitzer: Wow, this place is crowded.
- David: Yeah, well you know, nine dollar beer night.
- David: You know how I know you're gay?
- Cal: How? How do you know I'm gay?
- David: Because you macraméd yourself a pair of jean shorts.
- Cal: You know how I know you're gay? You just told me you're not sleeping with women any more.
- David: You know how I know that you're gay?
- Cal: How? Cause you're gay and you can tell who other gay people are?
- David: You know how I know you're gay?
- Cal: How?
- David: You like Coldplay.
- Cal: I mean, seriously, Asia? You framed an Asia poster? How hard did the people at the frame store laugh when you brought this in?
- Andy Stitzer: She had hands as big as Andre the Giant's, and she had an Adam's apple as big as her balls.
- Andy Stitzer: This doesn't feel right.
- Jay: Of course it don't feel right! What has felt right for you doesn't work! You need to try some wrong, dawg.
- Cal: I just want you to know this is like the first conversation of like three conversations that leads to you being gay. Like, there's this and then in a year it's like, "Oh you know, I kinda wanna, ya know, get back out there but I think I like guys," and then there's the big, "Oh I'm a gay guy now".
- Andy Stitzer: You know what? I respect women! I love women! I respect them so much that I completely stay away from them!
- Jay: All you got to do is use your instincts. How do you think a lion knows to tackle a gazelle? It's written, it's a code written in his DNA, says, "tackle the gazelle." And believe it or not, in every man there's a code written that says, "tackle drunk bitches."
- Andy Stitzer: That girl was a ho... for sho.
- David: I would rather watch "Beautician And The Beast". I would rather listen to Fran Drescher for eight hours than have to listen to Michael McDonald. Nothin' against him, but if I hear "Yah Mo B There" one more time, "Yah Mo" burn this place to the ground.
- Andy Stitzer: Is it true that if you don't use it you lose it?
- Health Clinic Counselor: Is that a serious question?
- Andy Stitzer: No, it wasn't.
- Andy Stitzer: How many pots have you smoken?
- Andy Stitzer: There's something wrong with her underwear.
- Cal: Yeah. They're not in my mouth.
- Andy Stitzer: I don't want this stuff, okay? Because I don't do that, that much.
- David: What, masturbate?
- Andy Stitzer: Yeah.
- David: Dude, I've jacked it twice since I've been here. Are you kidding me?
- Andy Stitzer: I hope you have a big trunk, because I'm puttin' my bike in it!
- David: Did you just flick me in the balls?
- Cal: No. I flicked you in the fleshy patch where your balls used to be.
- Beth: I'd like to introduce you to my friend.
- Andy Stitzer: Your friend is so shiny.
- Andy Stitzer: I just don't want a big box of porn in my apartment.
- David: There's some really great stuff in here. Really great movies in here, man. Hey, did you ever see School of Rock?
- Andy Stitzer: Yeah.
- David: Well, this is... It's called School of... You know...
- Andy Stitzer: Is this shirt too yellow?
- Cal: No. Tell me, what's Curious George like in real life?
- Jay: Dude, it's not a big deal that you like to f#%k guys. I'm cool, I got friends who f#%k guys... in jail.
- Cal: You've gotta wait till the seed grows into a plant. Then you've gotta f#%k the plant.
- Andy Stitzer: Is this the movie about babies that are geniuses?
- Andy Stitzer: Ooooh, do me yo-yo master I want you to do me cause you're the yo-yo guy.
- Cal: Yeah, you should definitely tell her, because I saw this movie called Liar Liar and the message was, don't lie. And that was a smart movie.
40 Year Old Virgin Quotes Videos
- YouTube: Steve Carell & Leslie Mann Drunk Driving Scene
- YouTube: 40 Year Old Virgin Waxing: Behind the scenes
- YouTube: 40 Year Old Virgin clips
- YouTube: 40 Year Old Virgin - You know how I know you're gay?
- YouTube: 40 Year Old Virgin - Egg Salad Sandwich
- YouTube: 40 Year Old Virgin Sex Ed Scene
- YouTube: But what? 40 Year Old Virgin